Sharing My Music For The First Time

by Aug 1, 20220 comments

Once I decided I wanted to pursue music, I was playing my guitar and singing at home ALL THE TIME.  I figured I should put myself out there and see if any local places would book me for a gig.  My niece Amara*hyperlink to her music*  had been playing at a bar that I did open mic night at a couple times with my daughter *click here to hear her little 8 year old self singing- she’s now almost 11!* so I tried there first.  They had me come in for an audition, and it was FANTASTIC.  It was on a Saturday afternoon, and basically everyone in there came just to see me.  Bringing the crowd was of importance to this bar, so I asked everyone I knew to come support me.  I really loved telling the stories about my songs, and I surprised myself when I told the story of Wild Baby- I literally started crying on stage.  Emotions are hard for me.  A lot of times I don’t understand mine, and writing is one way that they come out half-sensical.  And it isn’t until I share that story with someone else do I see it from a new perspective, and it hits me like a meteor.  So the audition went well and I got a few dates booked at that bar.  I also started playing out at my sister-in-law’s restaurant in a teeny tiny town *link to Ole Hitchin Post* and that is so much fun!  I love the small community and my favorite part is when little kids are into my music.  One time a little kid kept running up to put dollar bills in my tip jar and racing away, another time a little girl was filming my performance on her cell phone!  Ahhhh, the cuteness! 

The thing about playing out for me is that it is so incredibly terrifying to perform in front of people.  I have Aspergers, and a lot of social anxiety.  The idea of it gives me a stomachache.  But the second I step on to the stage, and I sing the first line, a wave of endorphins just rushes over my entire body and it fills me with such intense joy and purpose, I never want to stop.  This year I am performing a 30 minute set at an outdoor music festival and I am so nervous I could poop my pants.  But I have a feeling it is going to be the most incredible experience and keep me going on this path of creating beautiful music for a long long time.

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